Long time not talk

I've been extremely busy these last few days. Throwing myself into school work, and the ordeals of my daily life just so I won't be able to have the time to breathe. What I would give to be able to just sit back and let the day escape me. Instead of sitting around waiting for something - anything - to change.

I am the kind of person that is afraid of change (I almost consider it against my religion - even though I'm Catholic) and change just scares me so much. Makes me tremble with fear, makes my skin crawl as if I'm cold, makes the world seem an uglier place when change happens because why does there need to be change? Why does the world have to change? Why can't we live in the type of perfect society we read about in those Science Fic books? Easy, because behind all those books lays an enemy with a dark motive.

For the first time in a long time I'm actually slowing down, because I've been moving so fast, forgetting my purpose, losing time and myself, and now that I am I just want to speed back up because if I keep running faster and faster then it won't catch up to me, then I'll escape what scares me the most easily. But all I'll be doing is running away, something I can't do. Something I've never wanted to admit.

I've slowly started this change by seeing a new male counselor since Jennifer left, but I don't know how I can keep it up. I don't know how I can keep my head up tall and smile when I just want to crumble and fall. Can I just gather myself and enclose myself in me? It'll be so much easier then having to see the world for what it is. It'll be so much easier then seeing me for who I am.

Miss me?

I have a good reason for not posting for a while. I have a LiveJournal account, well two, and it's hard to keeep up with everything (you can check it out here) Anyways, I've started picking up writing, minus the fact that solo/ensemble is coming up, and I'm freaking out just a little because I haven't learned my piece well just yet, but I am not going to stop. I will show Mrs. Mansky that I can do this--even if it is a total failure.
But here's the stories that have been getting updated so far:
-In-List is coming back
-Deadly Secret Chapter one of the reediting is going swimmingly, I'm almost to chapter 2.
-Rebels well almost.

But I refuse to go to bed until Coded Diary, Scarlett Rose, and my new story Strike 20 Down are done doing what I have in my writing journal.

Speaking of writing journal, I decided that if I have a real journal, I might as well have a writing journal where I can put in all my updates. That way when the real editing comes, I won't have to be opening fifty-million files on MS Word in order to figure out what was it that I wanted to put in this chapter or that chapter but was to lose to do it when I thought of it. Not to mention going through all my writing notebooks where scraps of chapters are. I was completely unorginized, still am.

But I swear that from now one -whoever reads this- I'll keep up with the writing.

Meg Cabot!!!!

I love Meg Cabot. And her books. She's not afraid to write either adult, kids, or teens books. She's like a universal writer. I like that. I just finished reading her Princess Diaries series, which by the way was excellent. I'm almost tempted to write my own Princess Diaries series, though it wouldn't be titled the same of course. But for the moment I have a list that's longer then me (by the way I'm 5'5"--Just to give you an idea) and I have to get through that list before I can start on anything. Though I am doing my own diaries series, whenever I get to rewriting about all of them.

But for now I have to concert on writing for NaNoWriMo. I have a story set for that one titled Rebels which is a Sci-Fi book. I don't know why, but ever since I started writing about Sabrina and G10 I've become addicted to Sci-Fi, I already have future plans for another series. But I'll have to write it down in my potiential list and so forth so I don't forget.

Besides my writing today's been very slow. Though the end of the grading period is coming soon, which means REPORT CARDS! I'm already freaking out. I'm pretty sure I got loads of C's in there. And if I find a D I believe I am going to pass out. And here I was complaining about an A-!

I feel like I'm the most complicated person alive.

I don't know. Anyways I'm going to check out my stories-that-have-been-ignored-let-alone-planned-out and see if I can update that list soon. Stories are coming in faster then I can type. And with school holding me down it takes so long. And not just that but I need to make book covers pretty soon. And not to mention put a photo album out. I don't want my readers to think that my characters have no faces, they should be as real to them as they are to me. And not to mention I need to finish Georgina Waters. I don't know why but writing that story feels so much easier then writing any of my other stories. Probably because I don't have so many plot twist in it, and it is just a simple story. But sadly that will soon end because I do have a plot twist set for the series, now I just need to complete it. As for Deadly Secret well again it might be a while before I pick up my pen or my fingers to start that one. I don't know why it has to take me so long. Probably because of the complications.

Argh, complicated!, complicated!, complicated!, if I have to use that word again I think I'll shot myself.

Anyways, I better get writing if I want to get anything done.

Update

So, school started up again (actually I'm posting from school, sshh) and well most of my stories have gotten little update. I did Miranda McCoy, (read here) and I'm rewriting Deadly Secret (read here) AGAIN! and I'm not happy about it. Also, about Your love is a lie I decided to put that on hold because really I just don't feel like writing it anymore, and no muse has come. So now I have to wait. I believe I am done with writing Tied Together With A Smile, because I thought I could write it but it turns out that I can't. So I don't know what I'mma do with that. And I started a new sci-fi story that I won't post on FictionPress until I'm completely happy with it. But it might go to NanoWriMo. Depending on how I feel about it.

Hindu Research

So, before writing use to take up all my time. I mean I had all these ideas but I couldn't get them down on pen or paper and it tired me to think of that. But it turns out that when you wanna become a writer there is a lot of research that goes into it. At first I was doing plenty of research for Tied Together With A Smile (which can be read here) but now I have to do research on Your Love Is A Lie (read here) because now I have a Hindu character and no idea about the religion. So I'm going to do work on that, which will exahust me. I also had said on my FictionPress that I'll be able to edit most of my stories this summer, but summer is almost over, and I can't work on any of my stories because I have to do research for Miranda McCoy, The Perfect Murder, and Like A Boy. So it'll take me a long while to do all those stories. But I am sure that I will be able to get at the very least two stories done; Deadly Secret and The Coded Diary. Which makes me happy. So I have a lot of work to do, and must get started.

Anyone know anything about the Hindu religion?