Fifty Shades Freed by E.L. James

Title: Fifty Shades Freed
Author: E.L. James
Release Date: January 19th, 2012
Publisher: The Writer's Coffee Shop
Pages: 466
Format: iBook
Acquired: Bought
Interest: Series
Others in the Series: Fifty Shades of Grey & Fifty Shades Darker
Age Group: Super Teens (a.k.a. adults)

When unworldly student Ana Steele first encountered the driven, damaged young entrepreneur Christian Grey it sparked a sensual affair that changed both their lives irrevocably. Shocked, intrigued, and ultimately repelled by Christian’s singular sexual tastes, Ana demanded a deeper commitment; determined to keep her, Christian agreed.

Now, together, they have more – love, passion, intimacy, and a world of infinite possibilities. But Ana always knew that loving her Fifty Shades would not be easy, and being together poses challenges neither of them ever anticipated. Ana must somehow learn to share Christian’s opulent lifestyle without sacrificing her own integrity, identity or independence; Christian must somehow overcome his compulsion to control, and lay to rest the horrors that blighted his past and haunt his present.

Just when it seems that together their love can conquer any obstacle, misfortune, malice and fate combine to make Ana’s worst nightmares come true. Alone and desperate, she must face down the poisoned legacy of Christian’s past.

Well, I did it. I don't know how I did it but here it is. I finished the series and I have to say that it ended exactly as I imagined it would be. Either this author was too predictable or literature just starts to develop a certain pattern after a while, James' novel did not take much of a different turn then I expected.

Short summary: Ana and Christian married (please make a note that they haven't even known each other for a year), they are at happy bliss, a bunch of shit goes down, and (SPOILER ALERT) she gets preggers, and more shit goes down, and finally, they live happily ever after. The end. Oh, sweet endings.

Not many of you know me personally, so if no one caught the sarcasm in my voice, just note that it was there.

Honestly, I don't know what it was about this book series that angered me. Every single book I gave a 1 star. I was hoping to see at least a little bit of improvement on her or her editors or her publishing houses' end, but apparently not.

To me, these two fell in love way too fast. Ana proves time and time again what a weak character she is. Even when she should have been standing her ground, she showed her weak side. And whenever Christian so much as talks to another woman, obviously something must be wrong with her because he's not giving his full and undivided attention to her. Really, I just wish this girl would get over herself.

And I love how James tried to cover up Ana's poor character by having the supportive characters mention how strong and brave she is. I rolled my eyes so much my backside would have been beaten raw.

But, I am happy to say that at least Christian does grow up. He's another one that needs to get over himself.

Really, this an entire series was just a big waste of my time. I can't believe I actually read it. I can't believe someone published it. In fact, now that this has been published I have come to the conclusion that just about anything get published these days and people will read them.

And to add to my shock, I can't believe this is being made into a movie. Really people, really? There are so many great works out there that need to get recognized but people put this series in the front because of the steamy sex and poor literary work and women crying that they are pregnant because of the author. Please, don't make me gag, because I will barf all over you.

Granted, it's not like me to write such harsh reviews. I do try to stay civilized because I tend to think of myself as a civilized person, but this book was infuriating. I kept wishing it would get better and better, but nothing. And yeah, no one forced me to read this, but I stupidly try to give novels the benefit of the doubt, but there was just no silver lining with this book.

If you really, really have nothing to do give this book a shot. If you are bored out of your mind, give this book a shot. If you have better things to do and better books to read, just forget this. Worst money I ever spent on books.

Fifty Shades Trilogy has happily made my Shitty Book List, where it will remain for all of time. I do not recommend this to anyone unless you are so bored out of your mind you might turn to homicidal tendencies just to entertain yourself. Aside from that, I say, don't bother!

Fifty Shades Darker by E.L. James

Title: Fifty Shades Darker
Author: E.L. James
Release Date: September 15th, 2012
Publisher: The Writer's Coffee Shop
Pages: 532
Format: iBook
Acquired: Bought
Interest: Series
Others in the Series: Fifty Shades of Grey
Age Group: Still very, very adult

Daunted by the singular sexual tastes and dark secrets of the beautiful, tormented young entrepreneur Christian Grey, Anastasia Steele has broken off their relationship to start a new career with a Seattle publishing house. But desire for Christian still dominates her every waking thought, and when he proposes a new arrangement, Anastasia cannot resist. They rekindle their searing sensual affair, and Anastasia learns more about the harrowing past of her damaged, driven and demanding Fifty Shades. While Christian wrestles with his inner demons, Anastasia must confront the anger and envy of the women who came before her, and make the most important decision of her life

I was a little surprised with myself. I have no idea what made me pick up the second book or buy the third book, but I figured, I would take a chance. And obviously, there isn't much change.

The story does pick up immediately after the last book ended and it does get a little better. There is more originality that sticks its head out of this book and that makes me a little happy, but still there was just too many similarities that I couldn't stop rolling my eyes over. And just like it's predecessor, I feel like the author spent way too much time on the character's "I love you" and "I need you" and "I can't live without you" and gag! Dude! These dudes haven't even known each other two months! And I am so not exaggerating. If love were really that easy everyone would be screwing around like these two were. I wish James kept it more on the real side.

Okay, so some things that were done that I liked. As I mentioned before, there was a little originality. A lot of the character's though still had similarities to the other book (example: Jose/Jacob, Mia/Alice, Grace/Esme or maybe Carlisle, I'm not sure). And like the other book the main character was incredibly beautiful and had hot men falling for her left and right and she didn't even realize it. And the main male character has a haunted past and doesn't think of himself good enough, and everyone's self-esteem is to the ground.

That was not a very good list of the things I liked, so here's the real list: There was a lot of tension between Ana and Elena. I really liked that James decided to bring in some ex-submissive's from Christians' past. It really made his entire relationship with Ana just a little more complicated. We finally get to dig into Christian's past and find out a little more about him in general.

And, we actually see character development. And I know there are probably gasps going around, but it's true. Ana does the unthinkable: she grows some damn balls! The girl finally stands up for herself, it's like halle-fucking-lujah! This is a big difference from our Bella comparison, so I'll give James two thumbs up for that. And, our Christian get's just a little bit softer. But don't worry, there is still a lot, and I mean a lot of kinky sex going around.

So, why did this receive a 1? Well, as an English major, a book lover, and a wannabe writer myself I just cannot excuse the grammar in this novel. I am not the greatest writer in the world, but at least I know that reader's hate insta-love, there was still a lot of things were I just wanted to say, "That's not possible, how could you that," because a lot of the stuff that was written it was just like there was no hint, there was no foreshadowing of that, I'm sorry, you're wrong.

Does this book have potential as it is now? Absolutely not, I have no idea what the publishing house was thinking, but okay. Does it have potential in the future? Of course it does, especially with all the work that is being put in (even though I would have to say it's pretty sloppy work).

I seriously question that author's motives and whether she practices this lifestyle or not. I know that has nothing to do with the book, but a girl can't help but wonder.

The character's still need a lot of help, her writing needs a lot of help (I'm serious, in one page I found over three "Christian's" starting the sentence in a row. That's a work of an amateur!), and I feel like the story isn't tight enough. But aside from that, James does know how to keep her readers. In one week, so much stuff happened that it could be made into a Lifetime movie series.

And honestly, there is only one reason I bought the third book and that was because of the way it ended. All I can say is that things are getting pretty damn serious and dangerous now.

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James

Title: Fifty Shades of Grey
Author: E.L. James
Release Date: May 26th, 2011
Publisher: The Writer's Coffee Shop
Pages: 360
Format: iBook
Acquired: Bought
Interest: Series
Age Group: Very, very adult!

When literature student Anastasia Steele is drafted to interview the successful young entrepreneur Christian Grey for her campus magazine, she finds him attractive, enigmatic and intimidating. Convinced their meeting went badly, she tries to put Grey out of her mind - until he happens to turn up at the out-of-town hardware store where she works part-time.

The unworldly, innocent Ana is shocked to realize she wants this man, and when he warns her to keep her distance it only makes her more desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her - but on his own terms.

Shocked yet thrilled by Grey's singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success – his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving adoptive family – Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a passionate, physical and daring affair, Ana learns more about her own dark desires, as well as the Christian Grey hidden away from public scrutiny.

Can their relationship transcend physical passion? Will Ana find it in herself to submit to the self-indulgent Master? And if she does, will she still love what she finds?

First and foremost I need to say that I gave into peer pressure. Everyone kept talking about this book and they were reading it, and just like it's predecessor, some said it was shit, while others were saying it was great. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and I bought it on my iPad.

It was, as I was expecting it to be, complete shit.

The main character was completely what I expected her to be, and in fact she behaved so much like Bella Swan, I don't know how the publishing house has the nerve to say that it is worlds apart from Twilight. The only thing these two books have that are worlds apart is that Bella and Edward had this sexual tension that Stephenie Meyer - whether from her Mormon upbringing or whatever - never went fully with. Here, it's sex, sex, sex. It's like the main characters took some sex pill and the only thing they can do is have sex whenever they are around each other.

There were things in this book that I just wanted to stop and say, "No, I don't think so. How could you possibly know that?" It's obvious from the writing style that the author did not take time at all to edit this, because if she had she would know just how flat and lifeless her character's are.

Out of all the character's Ana annoyed me the most. She sits complaining about how mysteries Christian is and how he sends her mix messages - well guess what sweet heart, you do too! I was so damn annoyed whenever she was going on about wanting more and wanting to try. And honestly, does this girl know what a submissive is? She was entering a BDSM relationship; there is no compromising in that type of relationship. There is the Master (Christian) and the Sub (her), but apparently that didn't float her boat so well.

And if she was just going to get angry with him because he was doing what she asked than why do it at all?

She says one thing but does something completely different. I just wanted to smack this child.

And Christian was not a complete angel himself. There was absolutely zero background on him, there was no hint on what the hell he did with his life whenever not bossing Ana around, there was nothing but moodiness. Oh and he plays the piano, remind you of anyone?

I don't know how I got through this book in two days, especially with finals coming up, but it was like I got through this insufferable book.

I kept thinking it might get better, but at the end I just wanted to hit someone. What the hell is E.L. James trying to get at? I just don't understand.

And despite it's fault, let's be honest, I'll probably get the other two books. Why not? I made it through the worst and summer is coming up, it's not like I have a million books to read already. Still, it tends to pull a person in and it can be a quick read.

What I want to know is how surprised Christian was when Ana confessed that she was in love with him. What the hell was he expecting? They were sleeping just about everywhere, he followed her just about everywhere; what did he think? That they would continue just having a sexual lifestyle for ten years without any emotional ties? That's not how it works. For someone who acts like he knows everything, he knows just about nothing.

This is the first one star I have ever given out, and I don't know how the other books will fare out, but we'll see. We'll see.